My Stake Conference Talk - Children Can Bring Light to Their Homes

I love everything leading up to Halloween.  But let the truth be known, I don’t like Halloween night.  I am afraid of the dark.  If you come trick or treating to my house, chances are I won’t open the door.  It frightens me to open the door, in the dark, not knowing who is on the other side.  It’s Brother Hettinger’s job to give out the candy at our house. 

Are you afraid of the dark too?   When you became frightened, do you like to turn the lights on?  Do you feel safer in the light?  Light and darkness cannot exist in the same place at the same time.  As soon as you turn on a light or light a candle the darkness is gone.  This is a simple law of nature, but it is also a spiritual law.

The Book of Mormon tell us of a time of utter darkness.  There were storms and earthquakes and total destruction.  Cities were destroyed and people that were spared were so frightened.  The darkness around them so was thick that no form of light could penetrate the darkness.  “And there was not any light seen, neither fire, nor glimmer, neither the sun nor the moon nor the stars for so great were the mists of darkness which were upon the face of the land.”  And it was like that for 3 days!  After the 3^rd day, they heard a voice from heaven saying, “Behold, this is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased, in whom I have glorified my name, hear ye him”  And they cast their eyes toward heaven and behold, they saw a Man descending out of heaven; and he was clothed in a white robe; and he came down and stood in the midst of them, and the eyes of the whole multitude was upon Him, …and it came to pass that he stretched forth his hand and spake unto the people, saying:  Behold I am Jesus Christ, whom the prophets testified shall come into the world, and behold I am THE LIGHT and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me…..I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning.

After being in terrible darkness for 3 whole days, there was now light and very first thing that Jesus told was that he is the Light.  Imagine how those Nephites felt. The fear of being in the awful darkness had vanished.  This was Jesus Christ whom they had heard about for many years.  Standing in front of them.  With a glorious light all around him.   He is the source that should look to for light.  Remember that light and darkness cannot exist in the same place at the same time.

            Our homes can be a place of light, light that comes from Jesus Christ.  The times we are obeying parents, not fighting with our brothers and sisters, praying and reading scriptures and being kind to each other invite spiritual light in our homes.  It is a light we can feel.  It makes us feel safe and loved.  It is the spirit of God.  Believe in the light, that ye may be the children of light.  [John 12:35–36; emphasis added]

            On the other hand, when we fight with each other, break rules, call names and other hurtful things, we bring darkness into our homes.  Darkness gives us an unhappy feeling, it makes us feel awful.  Remember that darkness and light cannot exist in the same place at the same time.

            Last Friday morning my daughter, Stacey, sent me a selfie of all her kids snuggled up in bed with her and said she was looking forward to a great autumn day with the kids and in the evening they were going to go a pumpkin patch.  That, I guess, was the high point of the day.  Things made a turn for the worse.  Zoey, who is 7, became grumpy when she didn’t get her way over the breakfast cereal.  Logan whined and complained about having to do chores.  The only person that was happy was the baby.   In the afternoon, friends came to play and their mom let the friends stay an extra hour.  But when it was time to bring the friends home, Zoey complained that it wasn’t fair.  Next they had to run errands.  The last stop was to pick up a pizza for dinner that they just had to go home and pop in the oven.  The kids complained about having to stop one more time.  They wanted to get home.  Once home, Logan and Zoey continued to fight with each other.  Mom got preoccupied in the bedroom and forgot about the pizza in the oven.  When Zoey saw the burnt pizza, she said, “You always burn the pizza.” To her mother.  Needless to say, no one went to the pumpkin patch that evening.  Their mom called me late at night to say she was by herself and sitting on a couch in a furniture store!  Things were pretty dark in their family.  But, I am happy to report, that I did get a picture of the whole family at the pumpkin patch the next day with a caption saying “they made it.”  The children had earned back the privilege of going to the pumpkin patch by apologizing to their mother and each other, helping with the Saturday chores and bringing light into their home.

            Does this story sound familiar to you?  Do those things happen in your family?  The scriptures tell us that we are to walk as children of light.  Is there anyone who needs your light as much as your families?

            In our homes and with our families we sometimes become our worst selves with the people who matter the most in our lives. A few years ago in General Conference, Sister Susan Tanner told a story of when she unkind to her family.  “I distinctly remember one morning when I was 14 years old. Before I left for school, I was cross and unkind with my parents and my brothers. After I left the house, I was polite with the bus driver and friendly to my peers. I felt the discrepancy of my actions, and a huge feeling of remorse came over me. I asked the teacher if I could be excused for a few minutes to call home. I apologized to my mother for my behavior and told her how much I loved and appreciated her and promised to do better at showing it.”

The prophets have said that Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. When Zoey was 5, she wanted to go into the yard to pick strawberries.  She asked her mother, but her mother was busy with dinner, and she said No.  She asked her father, but her father was busy as well and he said No.  Finally she declared that if Jesus were here, he would go and pick strawberries with her.  She was learning that Jesus is our friend and he is our light. 

I am going to give you a few suggestions, as if you were my grandchildren, and see if you can find ways to bring more light into your families:

1.      Keep the Sabbath day holy.  I know this is hard for children to do.  My grandchildren sometimes say it’s boring on the Sabbath because they don’t go outside to play with friends or out to get a treat.  Having a bad attitude about the Sabbath brings darkness in our homes.  Instead think about the good things you can do on the Sabbath.  You can help prepare the meal with your mother, you can read a book with your father, visit your grandparents or write in your journal.  One way my grandchildren are preparing to keep the Sabbath is to help to have their clothes ready before Church, even a 4 year old can be responsible for their Sunday shoes so the family can go peacefully to church on Sunday.

2.      Learn and use kind words.  How much happier our families are when we use the words, please, thank you and I’m sorry.  Kind words can add light by telling someone that they did a good job in school, or by leaving a note on your mom’s pillow.  Small and simple actions of love will bring great light to your home.

3.      Share.  Sometimes sharing can be a difficult thing to do but it can bring so much light into your family.  You can share a snack or a toy.  I often see my grandchildren offering a brother or sister a lick of their ice cream or treat.  You can share you time by helping a brother or sister with a chore. 

4.      Participate in family prayer, scripture reading and family home evening with a good attitude.  The attitude you bring is important and it helps the Spirit to be with us.  It gives us an opportunity to bear our testimonies.   When we fight or quarrel or are grumpy during scripture reading or family home evening, the spirit cannot dwell with us.  Not every family home evening will not be picture perfect.  We had more than our share of family home evenings full of giggles and pokes and even some nodding off, but now that my children are grown, they continue having family home evenings with their own children and say that family home evening was one of the best memories of their growing up years.  Elder Bednar said we build strong families one family prayer, scripture study and family home evening at a time. 

5.      Learn to pray on your own.  My friend, Sister Wall, taught me that when anger or contention came, she would go into her room, close the door, and kneed by her bed and pray until the darkness went away.  Prayer brings peace into our homes.  Learn to pray while you are young.  When Charly was small I lost my purse in the house – we looked all over and couldn’t find it – finally small little Charly prayed and when she finished, she proclaimed “God wants to know if you need anything else.”  Sister Neal Marriot told this story of her 10 year old daughter:  “Think of the influence that the faith of a Primary-aged girl can have on her family. Our daughter’s faith blessed our family when we lost our young son at an amusement park. The family rushed around frantically looking for him. Finally, our 10-year-old daughter tugged on my arm and said, “Mom, shouldn’t we pray?” She was right! The family gathered in the middle of a crowd of onlookers and prayed to find our child. We found him. To all the Primary girls and boys I say, “Please keep reminding your parents to pray!”  

6.   Have fun together.  If you play games with your family, remember that you don’t have to win all the time, by being a good loser we develop compassion.  Try to be happy if someone else wins. Go on a walk together, talk together, eat meals as a family and leave the electronics off.  Make and keep family traditions.  We have a Christmas tradition that our family enjoys to this day!  We go Christmas tree judging.  We knock on doors, sing our little song, go inside and judge their Christmas tree to see if it is a 1^st prize winner!  Then we give a winning prize!    Having fun and sharing time together is a great way to bring light into our family.

My light is but a little one,

My light of faith and prayer;

But lo! it glows like God’s great sun,

For it was lighted there.

I may not hide my little light;

The Lord has told me so.

’Tis given me to keep in sight,

That all may see it glow.

Shine on, shine on, shine on bright and clear;

Shine on, shine on now the day is here.

• Charly, age 9, shined on when she did the laundry for her mother while her mother worked on her own homework assignment.
• Logan, the boy is 5.  He shined on when he had compassion on his sister.  Zoey had stated that she thought boys get to do more things than girls and Logan tried to comfort her by saying, “but girls get to be fancy.”
• Hudson, age 2 ½ , is shining on by learning to share his trains with his 1 ½ year old sister, Brooklyn.  He will immediately hug her if she starts to cry.
• Logan, the girl is 8, shines on by helping her mom with the little kids.  She will comfort them in the car when they are crying by singing to them.  
• Will, age 8, shines on by helping to dress his little brother and sister.
• Zoey, age 7, shines on by drawing pictures for members of her family and leaving them on their bed.    

Each of us can shine on in our own families.  These little acts of love bring light into our homes. Remember that darkness and light cannot exist in the same place at the same time.  The prophets have said that Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.  

I love November when it starts to get dark earlier.  As I drive into my driveway in the evening and see the lights all aglow in side, I have a safe feeling.  I know love is there.  The light of Jesus Christ will shut out the darkness of the world around us and our homes will become safe and sacred places.