My Essay on Fatherlessness

Turning the Hearts of the Fathers to Their Children

  We are slowly becoming a culture of fatherlessness.  An article in The Washington Times states that a single mother has three daughters.  Each has matching glittery boots, but none has the same father. Each has uniquely colored ties in her hair, but none has a dad present in her life. 

We are losing the idea of fatherhood in our society.  It has been almost two years since a six-year old girl has seen her father.  While skyping, he asks her to tell him what’s on her mind.  She answers by saying, “Daddy, I really, really want you to come here to see me.”  Quickly the subject is changed and not even a glimmer of hope is made at granting this little girl’s wish. 

Fatherlessness is on the rise.  Studies show that 41% of births in the United States now occur outside the context of marriage.  Only 29% of African American children live with their married parents.   There is a direct link between violent crime, drug abuse, gangs and a father’s absence.  Our society needs a solution to this nation’s most serious issue.

Poverty is the one of the leading problems of fatherlessness.  The National Commission on Children states that almost 75% of American children living in single-parent families will experience poverty before they turn 11 years old. Only 20% of children in two-parent families will do the same.

Likewise, fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.  In studies involving over 25,000 children using nationally representative data sets, children who lived with only one parent had lower grade point averages, lower college aspirations, poor attendance records, and higher drop-out rates than students who lived with both parents.  Other social issues caused by fatherlessness include crime, early premarital sex and increase of teenage pregnancies

In 2002, Jeffrey M. Leving presented testimony to Congress on “Father Absence as a Causation of Crime and Drug Abuse” and presented proactive father involvement strategies necessary to remedy fatherlessness.  He offered three implementation strategies as solution to this growing social problem:

The first solution was promoting substantial positive father imaging and involvement by use of the media.  As we watch what is being seen on TV today, we see images of inept males.   Take a minute and watch the commercials.  Watch the sitcoms.  While they might reflect a father in the home, it is often a father that needs straightening out by a strong female figure.   Fathers are viewed as unnecessary and faltering; extra baggage, so to speak.   Hollywood has an obligation to today’s youth to provide positive male role models.  They need to view fatherhood has a positive in their lives. 

Subaru has taken a lead in their advertising.  They have shown fathers with their children.  One commercial shows a father and his children washing the car and playing with the hose.  Another shows a father putting his daughter on a school bus for the first time and then getting in his car to follow the school bus.  More companies need to follow the example set by Subaru.

Second, a solution offered was to provide free parenting education to indigent teen and incarcerated fathers.  Not having a male role model leads to many young men with little or no parenting skills.  Many school districts offer life skills classes to their middle-school age students.  Besides cooking and budgeting, these students are taught parenting skills, which includes an infant simulator doll.  These dolls are used to practice real infant care, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

In 2006, an “Incarcerated Fathers Project” was launched by The Fatherhood Educational Institute.  This program was designed to empower incarcerated fathers to assume emotional, moral, spiritual, psychological and financial responsibility for their children. 

Lastly, creating a Judicial Task Force on Father Absence to educate judges on the effects of fatherlessness on children, families and society was offered as the third solution.  Mr. Leving stated the necessity of such a task force is based upon his belief that many judges adjudicate the consequences of father absence, but don’t have the data concerning these consequences to guide them to correct resources necessary to deter crime and drug abuse.  Giving a father joint custody in a divorce will enable him to be a participant in his child’s life.

Our society sees fathers as unnecessary.   In the book, Fatherless America, David Blankenhorn states there are many different names we use to identify fathers in America. There are names such as Sperm Donor, Deadbeat Dad, Baby Daddy, Stepfather, or Nearby Guy.   But, children are crying out for the Good Family Man – a  man that sticks by his family and gives, not only his money, but his time. How much longer does this six-year old girl have to wait for her father’s visit?  Or, one day will the skyping and phone calls end too?   Does one more innocent child have to feel the way the rock group, Everclear, described  in their 1997 song, “Father of Mine.”  They sang, “I will never be safe; I will never be sane; I will always be weird inside; I will always be lame.”

Think of it this way – in a few years we will have two groups of youth in our country. They will speak the same language and have the same national history but they will live two different lives.  One group will have psychological, social, economic, educational, and moral benefits.  One group will not.  The main factor in these groups will be fatherlessness.